Old enemies and new beginnings
by modestroad
Summary: Their first night back to the Enchanted Forest, Snow thinks about her life, her choices, her family and comes to a conclusion; Regina had been right. (3x11 Spoilers)


The fire doesn't warm them as it should.

Snow looks at the small group of friends, a family of a kind, even with Hook, and Neal and a fairy she didn't know until few days ago. They should be happy they are back, but there's little talk around the campfire. A lot of heavy breathing, and every once in a while, a sob escapes someone's lips. They thought, _she_ thought, that Storybrooke was a curse when it was a home to many of them.

At least she has Charming, and the luxury of knowing that in spite of being in a different realm, her daughter and grandson are together, happy, not remembering a thing of the last years. She rests her head on Charming's shoulders and instantly feels his hand on her back, rubbing circles, giving her the comfort she so desperately needs but knows she will never find. Not when Emma and Henry are…

Snow takes a breath and Charming pulls her closer to him, but he offers no words of reassurance or hope, and Snow closes her eyes and can almost see Emma and Henry, happy, laughing with something or sharing a bag of chips in front of the tv. They are happy, together, and it should be enough, but it's not.

She opens her eyes, blinking a few times to hold back tears, when she sees a lone figure a good forty feet away. Dressed in black from head to toe and standing so still that if Snow didn't know better she would think it's a figment of her imagination. Regina, the Evil Queen, saved them all for a second time in as many days, but it doesn't feel like they have won. Pan is dead, Rumple too, and while they are all alive back in their land, her husband and best friends, all around a fire, Snow never felt so lost before.

Watching Regina in the distance, with her arms around her body, alone, refusing everyone's invitations to join them around the fire, Snow starts to feel like she lost not only the battle but the war as well. She doesn't know when or why (she knows why and it hurts a lot more than she thought possible), but sometime during their ordeal in Neverland they found not only Henry, but the woman that once upon a time had saved her from a, perhaps, deadly fall.

She wonders if anyone knows about that, if anyone sees Regina and not the Evil Queen, but the young woman with love in her eyes, the one that taught her about True Love and getting up when you fall. And then she remembers-Regina fell and no one was there to catch her or tell her it's okay to fall as long as you get up again.

It was easier for Snow to think that Regina was as evil as Cora than to look at her own actions and see the wrongs she had done. Snow now knows why they were never a family or could be one-she never was around Regina much. At first, yes, but as she grew to a young lady her father took her more and more away from the castle, on his trips around the kingdom, leaving the young Queen alone in a castle full of unfriendly faces.

Regina wasn't Eva and Snow's father made sure every single person in their kingdom knew that. Only now Snow realizes that watching Regina standing alone in the distance is not an unfamiliar sight. She remembers dances, but doesn't remember seeing Regina dance with her father or anyone for that matter. She remembers luxurious meals and an empty chair where Regina should sit. Lastly she remembers how young Regina was and how she grew older, colder, within the first years of her marriage.

And now she's back to the place she tried so hard to escape, the Enchanted Forest, dressed in nothing but black, a Queen without a kingdom, and while Snow's kingdom is long gone too, she has Charming and Ruby and the dwarfs, and a friendly smile whenever she looks around the fire.

Snow can't do much about Emma or Henry, but she's not a naïve little child anymore. She can't and won't pretend that everything's fine when clearly it is not. Regina has failed her many times in the past, but Snow failed Regina too, she knows that now. But she's not going to make the same mistake twice, no matter how hard Regina fights them.

If she fights them.

Snow is not the only one who has noticed that something's different with the fearsome Evil Queen. Archie had said something earlier, when they were trying to start a fire only for Regina to throw a fireball at the woods and walk away without a word, and later Ruby had come after another failed attempt to make Regina join them for dinner-or what can pass as dinner.

You never realize how much you miss home until you can't find something good to eat. The last time she was here people barely made even. The animals which once run free to the forest were now hiding or drove to a different area from the Orcs. The land, once rich in trees and vegetables, was now barren.

"No," Granny's voice is low but firm, and snaps Snow out of her thoughts.

The fire is going strong, someone has put more wood on it, and while a few people are sleeping, most are still talking in low voices. Leroy has left his spot with the other dwarfs and is –or rather was- helping himself to a second bowl of soup. He doesn't look that happy with Granny telling him off, but Snow knows very well that Granny doesn't take no for an answer.

"Why the hell not?" Leroy asks. His plate's empty and it's obvious that he's spoiling for a fight, for anything that will take his mind away from their situation. Snow knows him well enough to know that he's putting on a show, trying to make things as normal as possible.

"That's for her," Granny simple says and Leroy looks at the woman, barely visible now that the sun is down for good, and gives a weak protest.

"If she wanted to eat she should be here." Then something changes in his face, his eyes get a little softer before he's back to his old self. No one said that Grumpy can't hold a grudge, even if Regina saved them all for a second time. "What she's doing anyway?"

"Beats me," Ruby shrugs. Regina is not the only one that's acting weird and Snow will have a little chat with her later.

"Maybe she's watching for something," Neal offers, and suddenly people start to share their theories left and right.

"Maybe she's plotting to cast another curse," someone says, and Snow flinches. After everything Regina sacrificed to save them all, people still think like that. But then she realizes that most people don't know the woman behind the Evil Queen.

"Shut your mouth," Granny says, and Snow offers her a smile.

Eugenia and Ruby were better off in Storybrooke. They didn't have to hide themselves or lock Red in, in fear of the Wolf. Ruby was free of worrying and the worst she had to expect was a boring day at Granny's. Looking around, Snow starts to realize that for some of them, the curse wasn't a curse at all, but a new beginning.

"Maybe she's watching out for Orcs," another one says.

Orcs, well, that's one thing Snow didn't miss from her last visit here.

"Nope," Ruby joins the conversation, "No Orcs or trolls or giants or wolves or any sight of a human being."

"How are you so-" Neal starts to ask and Ruby taps her nose. "Right, the wolf thing."

"West." Suddenly it hits her and Snow gets up, David fast on her track. "She's facing west."

"What?"

Snow is already in motion, her heart beating a mile a minute because Regina is not watching out for upcoming threats and she's not isolating herself from their group-she's facing the direction Emma and Henry took. Snow had to give her child up twice now so she understands more than anyone how Regina must feel, but unlike Regina, she never had time with her daughter.

She never held her, soothed her to sleep, fed her, stayed up all night to make sure that the fever is down. She never taught her daughter to crawl, held her hand to take her first step, spelt words to teach Emma how to talk. She never had the chance to do those things and she should hate the women standing in front of her, she really should, but she can't.

Like Regina, Snow has to take responsibility for her actions as well. Snow gave her faith to creatures of ancient magic, creatures that weren't honest with her, creatures that convinced her that instead of fighting for what was hers, her kingdom, her husband, her daughter, she had to give up everything she believed, she had to give up her family.

Snow chose to be a good person, but in doing so she became a terrible mother because she now knows that you always put your child first. Rumpelstiltskin put his power first instead of his son and even if she had a good excuse, she did the same.

It's easy to blame Regina for the curse, but it wasn't all hers, was it? Rumpelstiltskin, in his final moments, he admitted that he created the curse to find Bealfire and like good fools both she and Regina played his game, a game Regina was so eager to triumph, never stopping to think how many people had to pay with their lives.

If only she had given Regina a good second chance instead of tricking her…She smiles bitterly. Who gave them the dagger? Who helped them "test" the Evil Queen? No, as Snow puts two and two together, she realizes they never had a chance beating the curse. They were pawns to a chess game and the strongest pawn in chess is the Queen. She was the white Queen, Regina the Black, and both of them were nothing but idiots.

But now, here, in a land long forgotten from time, from people, they are going to need both Queens, the Black and the White, if they want to survive. And while there is still anger, disappointment and mistrust, there is also love for what Regina did to make sure everyone survived, and proof that even the worst of people still have good inside of them.

"Regina," Snow calls the other woman, making her presence known. The other woman doesn't react well when she's surprised and Snow would find it ironic to have survived a curse, only to die from a fireball. "Henry wouldn't want you to freeze to death."

She waits for a long time for a response, but she's not going to give up hope. She stands there, few feet behind the Evil Queen with the broken heart, and wonders if Regina knows that now they are the same- mothers without their children, Queens without their Kingdoms.

"He doesn't remember me."

It's the tone of her voice that make Snow cover the few steps that separate her from the other woman and while she's not stupid enough to touch her, she's bold enough to stop inches away.

"He doesn't, you are right," Snow looks over her shoulder at the fire. David has a hand close to his sword and while Ruby stares at the fire, Snow knows she's listening to their conversation. "And I'm glad!"

Regina's head snaps. For a few seconds, Snow is eye to eye with the all-powerful Evil Queen, feeling less and less sure about her decision to provoke the other woman when Regina's eyes change from black, cold murderous eyes to a sad, soft brown, again. And then they turn cold, but this time they're lifeless, defeated.'

"I'm glad he doesn't remember you," Snow says again, watching as Regina's shoulders fall and she looks west again, as if she's going to see a yellow bug coming fast through the woods. "Because that means I won't have to worry about him or Emma. I sent Emma through the portal and I didn't know if she was going to be happy or find a family to take care of her. I sent my newborn daughter through the portal and all I had was hope, but now? Now I don't need hope, Regina. Now I know that my daughter is happy and has a family that loves her and that's thanks to you."

She doesn't know what she expected from such confession, but it definitely wasn't the look in Regina's eyes, wet with tears and a hint of hope? Snow is not Emma, her daughter had her ways to handle the Evil Queen better than most, but she gives the other woman some time to catch her breath and to wipe her eyes dry when all she wants to do is run back to Charming's arms and stay there forever.

She has that luxury, Regina does not, and they need her if they want to make a home out of this place.

"I can't ask you for more, giving my daughter and grandson a happy ending is more than I wished for, but truth is, we need you, Regina, more than you need us. We are going to find a way to go back, but until we do we need to survive here and we need you for that."

Regina scowls and shakes her head, "You are an idiot."

And while a part of Snow expected the rejection, she didn't expect it to hurt that much. She nods once, twice, before, with a forced smile, she turns her back on Regina.

"I need you more than you need me."

That stops her fast on her tracks and she tries to find the perfect words, but she's lost and she can only lick her lips, trying, trying until: "Join us at the fire."

As they walk to the campfire, Snow White and the Evil Queen side by side, Snow can't help but think that Regina had been right.

They can't change the past.

But they can change the future.

* * *

**A:N/** Swatkat, nkseeger, you guys rock! First fic from Snow's POV and I have to admit I'm a little nervous. Snow is a character that leaves me wanting more but fails to deliver. She has her moments though. When she's not with David.


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